Have you ever said: “If I only had more money I could x, y and z” or “If I only had more time I could x, y, and z.” And of course, the “I hate my job. I wish I could work on things I love to do.”
No worries, I’ve said those things too. We all blur that out at times even if we know it won’t do us any good. But if you are saying those things on a regular basis you are wasting your time wishing for a future that won’t happen unless you do something about it!
No one, no matter how much you may feel you deserve it, will come and roll out the red carpet for you. The only way for you to have the kind of life you want is to roll it out yourself.
Proactive People Are Doers
The difference between those that are proactive and those that are not is how they approach their situation. Proactive people want a different future so instead of wishing it will happen, they start working towards making it happen. They make a plan, take that first step, which leads to the next step and so on. Step by step they work their way towards achieving what they want. They stay focused on what they want to achieve and prioritize working on the essentials instead of the small stuff that doesn’t help them. They understand the importance of single-tasking and creating a schedule.
The “wishers” want to change things but they don’t take planned action toward it. Instead of having a plan and prioritizing what’s important in order to get them to the next step, they react to every little thing coming their way and they work on the non-essentials, the things not moving them forward. Their days disappear to non-essentials. They can often be characterized by their frantic look and bouncing from thing to thing. Also called multi-tasking. They also blame circumstances a lot for not being where they want to be.
You can either happen to life, or allow life to happen to you.
Definition of proactive:
(of a person, policy, or action) creating or controlling a situation by causing something to happen rather than responding to it after it has happened.
“be proactive in identifying and preventing potential problems”
synonyms: enterprising, take-charge, energetic, driven, bold, dynamic, motivated, go-ahead “you need to be more proactive about the causes you care about”
Definition for reactive:
showing a response to a stimulus.
“pupils are reactive to light”
acting in response to a situation rather than creating or controlling it.
“a proactive rather than a reactive approach”
What Can You Do If You’re A Wisher?
1. Change your mindset. As soon as you default to the “If only…” say STOP and change that to: “I am in charge of my own destiny. What steps can I take right now to get closer to where I want to be?” Create a plan. Make a schedule. Hire a coach and mentor. Find support. Write down goals you want to accomplish and then make subgoals on how to get there. Take some time to figure out what is important to you.
2. Realize you have enough time. Americans on average watch 4 hours of TV a day. That adds up to about 13 years of 24/7 TV-watching over a lifespan. Yikes! Imagine what you could do with 13 years of 24/7 time?! Even if you’re not TV-watcher pay attention to how much time you lose being down the rabbit hole of email, social media, internet and reacting without intention to other things that eat up your time 10-20 minutes here and there. That all adds up to the time you could be working on yourself and your life and the important stuff. It’s all about how you prioritize. Say NO more often. Use a schedule.
3. Find a role model. Surround yourself with the people you wish to be. No, this is not about becoming a copycat. It’s about learning from those that are doing what you want to do. Find a couple of role models that are where you would like to be and learn from them. Ask them how they did it if you can. Remember, Rome wasn’t built in one day. Those people didn’t just go from nothing to where they are today. They got there by making a decision to be a doer and work their way to where they are.
I’m challenging you today. It’s time to stop spinning and start living. Ask yourself: Are you proactive in your approach or falling to living a life of reaction?